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A Little About Me
God calls each person to
do something special, to become someone special.
Through prayer, reflection, and talking with
others about our dreams and talents, we can
discover the lifestyle that will become our
vocation. The religious life, the single life,
and the married life all stem from our vocation
as Christians -- to become more Christ-like.
Beyond that, with the best of our talents and
abilities, we can reach outward to care for
those whom God has entrusted to us. The greatest
commandment -- to love God and love your
neighbor as yourself -- is a prescription for
happiness no matter what your life status might
be.
Prayer for
Vocations
Dear God,
Today as I reflect on what's ahead for me, I ask
for your guidance to make decisions that bring
me closer to you.
Help me to know your voice and believe in the
power
of your gifts in me.
I trust that you will lead me amidst the
uncertainties of life. Give me the courage to
follow you today as you lead me to tomorrow.
Amen
Dating and Marriage
Few gifts in life
are more precious than being chosen in love. All
relationships are based on some type of sharing.
Relationships that become romantic usually have
two or more intimacies as their foundation.
Many people go on dates with no intention of
becoming serious about the person. What often
occurs in the process of dating is the
realization that this person is THE ONE with
whom you want to spend the rest of your life. At
this point in the relationship, you begin to
look at each other in a new light. You may
become even more shy than on your first date.
You treat each other as very special. If you
don't know each other's families already, you
begin to spend time getting to know them.
The time when you are considering marriage
cannot be just fun. This is the time, before
engagement, when you should ask serious
questions. Here are some to consider:
1. Does this person live in the past? Some
people cannot forget an argument or a time when
they were hurt. These people will not weather
well the ups and downs of married life. As St.
Paul wrote, "Do not let the sun set on your
anger." Consider whether your potential partner
can forgive and forget.
2. How close can I get to this person? If you
have a relationship based on only one intimacy,
there is little chance that it will last. Your
partner must be willing to share not only
physically with you, but emotionally, playfully,
intellectually. If there is a refusal to
communicate feelings, or if there is no
affection beyond sexual attraction, a genuine
marriage of spirits will not be possible.
3. Is this person too dominant, demanding,
possessive, or chemically dependent? Some people
never get beyond their childhood need of power
or pleasure. They have never realized their own
worth comes from God's love. They do not
understand unselfish love, nor humility. Those
who are chemically dependent, for either
psychological or biological reasons, will not be
changed merely by love and sincere intentions.
The demands of marriage and children, instead of
making people grow up, often cause a divorce. Do
not make the mistake of thinking that your love
can change these problems.
4. Do you want children? You need to agree with
your partner on this question. Children are a
great joy and a great responsibility. Is your
future partner responsible in other areas of
life? Can you presume that he or she will be so
in the rearing of children?
When you are dating and considering marriage,
your conversations tend to be long and of a
serious nature. The seriousness is necessary but
shouldn't overshadow the joy of really getting
to know and love that special person. If there
is no romance, no special gifts, no special
words or letters, ask yourself why. Couples who
appreciate romance and kindness are not only
making beautiful memories to look back upon but
also learning the ways in which they can best
show their love and appreciation for one
another. The continued expression of love,
kindness, and joy in each other nourishes a
marriage. It is important to know that you are
loved, but it is just as important to express
your love.
Ask yourself these
questions:
How does it feel
to hear someone you care about say "I love you?"
Which intimacies do you share with your best
friend?
Which types of sharing would be important in a
romantic relationship? In a marriage
relationship?
What qualities do you look for in a person to
date? Do these differ from those of a person you
would marry?
What is your clue that a person is living in the
past? Answer: Cf. Ephesians 4:26.
How would you define the term "soul mate?"
What can happen in a marriage if one person
refuses to share?
Do you know anyone who married with the hope of
"changing" the bad habits of their spouse?
How can you protect yourself from a broken
heart?
Why is friendship a less risky relationship? How
can it be possible?
Friendship-- Or
More?
Keep your
thoughts clear as you begin the search for your
soul-mate. Although broken hearts are an
inevitable fact of life, cruelty, disrespect and
"toying with someone's feelings" don't have to
be. Therefore, use the words "I love you" with
great consideration.
Is it possible to be "just friends" with someone
of the other sex? This question has been around
for a very long time. There are many advantages
to being friends with someone first. You can
learn about the person in a no-risk situation.
If you do begin a romantic relationship, and
later it ends, you may find that you can return
to the friendship you had earlier. Wanting to be
friends with someone first says that you value
the other person as more than just somebody to
go out with. Friendship is a less risky
situation than boyfriend-girlfriend. Many long
lasting marriages began with an extended time of
friendship.
What is the difference between friendship,
romance, and the love that leads to marriage? In
friendship there is support and a mutual caring
for one another. Romance is the wonderful
relationship where in addition to caring for
someone as a friend, you fall in love. The love
that leads to marriage is based on friendship
and romance, but is much more significant
because it also leads to new a life.
Intimacy or
Exploitation?
For both men and
women, there is a great power in sexual union.
Its power derives from its beauty, its intimate
communication, and its symbolism. The beauty of
sexuality in marriage is found in the
Scriptures, Song of Songs. "Your lips drip
honey, my bride, sweetmeats and mild are under
your tongue; and the fragrance of your garments
is the fragrance of Lebanon." The richness of
the language speaks to us about the beauty of
sexuality.
Sexual union represents the most intimate
touching. It physically expresses the spiritual
love of marriage for the partners by saying, "I
love you, and I am delighted to share the rest
of my life with you." The communication of this
kind of love is naturally life giving and
belongs exclusively in marriage. If it is not
kept within marriage, it loses God-given beauty
and meaning.
The great richness of sexual love in marriage
makes the sexual act outside of marriage empty
and sinful by comparison. Yet many people think
of the sexual act as merely the follow-up to
saying "I love you." Some think that this time
the person is THE ONE. So it's okay to become
intimate, even if they have said "I love you"
and had intercourse countless times before.
Others do not even give sexual love that much
attention, but see it simply as a way of
satisfying a physical need. They care little for
their partner and use, or exploit them for their
own gratification. Exploitation degrades both of
the people involved. In many instances, one
partner might pressure the other partner for
premarital sex. This is a great example of one
partner needing power over another, and one
should question whether this is a healthy
partner for them. There are many ways to express
your affection to your partner. For example,
making dinner for them, watching the sunset,
having a picnic, etc...
At one time, our society considered sex dirty or
shameful. Fortunately, that belief is no longer
widely held. Unfortunately, the pendulum has
swung just as far in the opposite direction.
Society now sees sexual intercourse as something
ordinary. The move in this direction has
degraded sex just as much as the precious
attitude. Sex is often the response to the
lowest of our desires: power and pleasure,
instead of the manifestation of the highest of
our feelings: committed love.
Our Christian heritage calls us to remember the
words of St. Paul: we are earthen vessels that
carry the Spirit of God. That means we should
treat our bodies with great respect and reserve
sexual union for its proper place in the
committed relationship of marriage. In the view
of our faith, sex outside of marriage takes a
most sacred and symbolic act and places it in
the realm of the ordinary. Only in marriage does
the great life-creating power of sex -- along
with its expression of love -- match the dignity
of our calling as Christians. Sexual union
within the context of marriage is beautiful and
profound -- a sacred gift.
Is Jesus Calling
You?
The Religious Life
Our Christian tradition offers us the
opportunity to live a single life in service to
God. Although the nun or brother goes out each
day and faces difficult situations, he or she
can come back to a community of people who are
equally dedicated to God and others. That
support allows the person to serve God in a very
courageous way. The disadvantage of the solitary
life, not belonging to one special person,
becomes an advantage for the religious. Monks
and nuns can belong to all people, in the
service of God. Each takes a vow of poverty, a
vow of obedience, and a vow of chastity. Poverty
means sharing all in common with the community
and serving the poor. Obedience means listening
to God's will through prayer and other people.
Chastity means loving all people in a pure way
and not being committed to another in marriage.
Priests have a special and difficult role within
the Church. They are, at the same time, leaders
and servants. It is the special task of ordained
priests to serve the needs of the Christian
community by celebrating the Mysteries for us,
and preaching. Yet they are the ones who also
must deal with the bills that come in each
month, with people's problems, and with the
difficult lifestyle of being celibate.
The priesthood begins with sensing God's call to
this ministry. The young man should feel a need
to serve others and be able to accept and live
with the vow of celibacy. The next step is
acceptance by an order or a diocese, which can
occur at any time but most typically comes after
high school or college. Studies begin at a
seminary or school of theology in the categories
of Scripture, Church teaching, and what it means
to be a priest. A certain degree of intellect is
required to complete studies for the priesthood
and to serve well an increasingly educated
society. Although intelligence is a requirement,
it never overshadows the need to love people,
the Church, and God.
Priests serve as teachers, missionaries, and
builders of parish communities that seek to
bring healing, justice, and peace to the world.
They know that preaching the good news and
offering the means of salvation is the most
important task in the world.
If you have any questions about your vocation,
please contact :
Father Sharbel Maroun
Ph: (612) 379-2758
Fax: (612) 379-7647
stmaron@onrampinc.net
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